Divorce & Custody Issues

Summary and Conclusions
Infants and Toddlers (Birth to age 3)

1. Visitation by the non residential parent should start with regular frequent visits with both parents present.

2. For infants, initial visits away from the primary caregiver should be no longer than 2 hours.

3. For toddlers, time away may be increased to 3 or 4 hours.

4. After separation, if the child is distressed for an extended period, the child should be returned to the primary caregiver for comfort.

5. Overnights should not be scheduled until the child has sufficient language to be prepared for the experience and to understand where and for how long he or she will be away from the primary attachment figure - (age 2 or older).

The court must ask itself when making custody decisions: Will it meet the appropriate needs of the child? The best interest of the child must include the child's age, emotional, social and physical development. In many situations, court decisions are made on the basis of what is fair and equitable to each parent rather than what is best for the child. But a child is not a bank account or other asset to be divided. The child who is older than three can retrieve memory of difficult experiences and with the help of a sympathetic ear, resolve and mitigate these stressful experiences. However, the pre-verbal child is unable to conceptualize or even recall disturbing events. Instead, these infants and toddlers are left with a legacy of anger, sadness and anxiety, which is extremely difficult to remedy. All possible efforts should be made to avoid this result and not make decisions which are stressful and traumatic for the infant and toddler.